love is a battle

Happy Easter

Easter is my favourite Christian “holiday.” To be even more specific, Good Friday is. Its taken me a long time in understanding the significance of Lent, of the crucifixion, and even then, what always floors me is the prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. 

So to recap, Jesus has now broken bread with his disciples, done the incredibly humbling washing of feet, which is often done by slaves, so in this context it is the ultimate measure of humility and love. He knows he has to die, and he will be betrayed by a man who is his disciple, and friend, and he’s sitting there just absolutely anguished, and he’s washing everyone’s feet!

Soon after the meal, Jesus goes off to pray in the Garden as he did usually, while asking the disciples to pray among themselves. He plans this of course, because Judas is now on his way to betray him. It’s all very dramatic. 

“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass me by. Nevertheless, let it be as you, not I, would have it.” Then, a little while later, He said, “If this cup cannot pass by, but I must drink it, your will be done!” (Matthew 26:42).”

Jesus is scared. He is genuinely, 100 percent, reluctant and anguished. You have to read the whole passage to understand it, but the sheer agony that comes through when it is read, is harrowing. But, he does an about turn, admits his weakness, prays and knows he must go through with it. Here, the tiniest glimmer of fear appears, and that is where his humanity shines through. He is divine, but the point was that also that he was so terribly human. 

Something about this bit in the whole 48 hours leading to the actual crucifixion is just so damn sad, and uplifting at the same time. I don’t know how to explain it. I think you look at your life sometimes, and you’re afraid and there’s all these things to think about (it’s not a crucifixion, obviously, but you know what I mean), and somehow Good Friday and Easter, it is a fitting example of how broken we are, and how whole we can be. 

I suppose for me, as I grow up, as I do the work I do, and watch the lives the people I love lead, the celebration of Lent, the humility, the call to servitude, to love unconditionally, to be okay with being vulnerable and being “weak” to be strong… these are the important lessons I take away from it. After years of struggling with my faith, I’ve come to a point where spirituality in its truest form, to me is what Jesus left behind, very simply, to Love. 

Have a Blessed Easter. 

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